You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
