Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
