how can u be prego again
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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