Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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