you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize