she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
