At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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