They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
