Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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