Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize