So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
