Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sext me about skeletons
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
