What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
