His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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