Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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