TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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