I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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