An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize