Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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