Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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