She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
