I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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