im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
