I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
