So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
