I've blown a few things in my day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize