I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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