i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
