and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
