I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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