Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
