what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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