I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
