She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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