I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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