Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
