just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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