Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
