at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
