ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
