so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
