i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
