dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
