I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
