Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
