Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
