It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
