D3 body, D1 cock
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize