cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
