No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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