? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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