Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize