Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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