Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
