i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize