oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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