i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The adults are the big ones right?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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