and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
