Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
