dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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