i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
