K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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