i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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