it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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