And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize