I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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